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Sometime student and ever-reluctant detective Neal Carey would rather be finishing a dull doctoral thesis than staring down the nose of a loaded gun — but his new assignment doesn’t sound dangerous. All he’s got to do is pull off the ultimate makeover: turn Polly Paget — a gum-chewing, foul-mouthed, big-haired broad — into a perfect lady in time to testify in a rape case against Jack Landis, head of the Family Cable Network and America’s most beloved family man. But Polly isn’t cooperating, and everyone — including a former FBI agent, an obsessive-compulsive hitman, the Mafia, a porn prince, and a slew of tabloid reporters — is on her trail, turning Neal’s “simple” assignment into a deadly game of duck-duck-goose.
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